Roomali with a View

Dunno if the owner of this restaurant on Indranagar was inspired by E.M. Forster’s book, A Room with a View, that he named it Roomali with a View. The comparison ends there; the food is not as delectable as the book!

Craving for authentic North Indian cuisine and a strong recommendation from a colleague, we settled for a buffet spread at Roomali with a View.

Ambience: RWAV is located in the third floor above FabMall on 100 feet, Indranagar. From the doorman to the interiors, everything is done up in Rajasthani style. Not much of décor but place is cluttered with tables and seats of various sizes and makes. A big chandelier greets you at the entrance and a few paintings grace the wall. A dismal waterfall at one side which is mostly ignored because of its inconspicuous location.

A very small restaurant that is packed to capacity on most days. One end of it is open to enjoy the view of the bustling traffic. There is no air coming in, so it can get very stuffy even when the room is not packed with people.

Cutlery: Porcelain plates and bowls but heavy stainless steel spoons!

Cuisine: Marwari, Awadhi, Kashmiri and Rajasthani Cuisine. Buffets available for lunch and dinner.

The buffet spread comprised 4-5 types of salad, vegetable shorba for appetizer, 4-5 types of rotis (served at your table), chicken gravy, fish gravy, paneer gravy, dal-bati-churan, 2 types of sabzi (best when skipped), and the main course was Kashimiri Pulao!!! Dessert had cut fruits, vanilla icecream, gulab jamoon, and shahi tukda (which by the way was so damn sweet).

Pricing: Buffet is priced at Rs 245. A la carte is equally expensive.

Service: Poor.

Verdict: A place that is best viewed from outside. Not worth the price!

Moral of the story:

• Never go to places that have fancy names
• Never take a recommendation from a colleague who eats Hakka Noodles with Gobi Manchurian!

Eyes Eyes Baby!

All men are big suckers for eyes (at least eight out of ten are). Ask them what they find most attractive in a woman and pat comes the answer--Eyes. Only once did I meet Mr Pragmatic who replied, “Well, what can I do with eyes?” when I asked him why he had not answered eyes.

No wonder, eyeliners and kohls remain the most popular cosmetic items that produce an incredible effect even on a deadpan face.

And why not? even the great American writer and critic, Thoreau, felt that The eye is the jewel of the body, while Emerson contended that The eyes indicate the antiquity of the soul.

Are not eyes the mirrors of the soul? Eyes are considered the most expressive part of the face. Depending on the eyes and its fixation, a look can be classified as a gaze, a glimpse, an ogle, a letch, or just a roving eye.

What the heart seldom reveals is rarely concealed by the eyes. How often have we heard the expression “Look into my eyes and answer” when we are dodging the truth. Do we not search the eyes of the person to see if he/she is lying? We may not be experts of physiognomy but eyes sure give away a lot than they intend to.

During a Neuro-Linguistic Programme (NLP) that I attended, we were taught that a person averts his glance or bats his eye more often when he is lying. Of course there are many other ways to nail a liar, like the most infamous nose-scratch of Clinton during his testimony.

I remember taking up a test online to judge a person’s expression and his profession. Nine out of ten times, I was right. It was easy to make out who were psychopaths and terrorists as their eyes were glowering with hatred. I say scrap the lie-detector test and instead implement an eye-detector test!

Sivaji--The Boss

With just a few days more for the release of the much-awaited magnum opus Tamil movie, Sivaji-The Boss, starring the Tamil Super Star Rajnikanth, the movie pundits are busy predicting the fate of the film. Will this movie have the cash registers ringing remains to be seen!

Sivaji directed by Shankar (credited for super hits such as Kadhalan, Indian, Jeans, Anniyan . . .) is said to be the costliest production till date with 60 crores even beating Devdas’ production with 50 crores. The movie also stars Shriya Sarin, Prakash Raj among other stars. The music is scored by A.R. Rahman.

The movie, which began filming in November 2005 and is yet to hit the theatres, has already generated more than its share of unbridled interest among Rajnikanth’s fans and other moviegoers, thanks to the complete suspense maintained by the director and the crew. No one has a clue to what the storyline is!

Even Wikipedia that has a lot of information about Sivaji has no spoilers for this one! Only a few posters (with Rajnikanth sporting the most horrendous and hideous designer suits and even worse colorful wigs) have been circulated in the emails so far.

Sivaji came under the radar in April, when a sound technician was found floating dead in the swimming pool, during the film unit’s celebration at a beach house. It was rumored that the technician was involved in music piracy even before the official launch of the music. The news and the investigation were hushed as they might prove detrimental to the movie’s success.

Even as Rajnikanth’s counterparts are embracing their age and donning befitting roles, Rajnikanth wishes to remain the Peter Pan of Kollywood choosing instead to wear extra layers of makeup and elaborate wigs to camouflage any signs of aging. Even his choice of heroine in Sivaji indicates that he must be feeling young at heart. Earlier while Manisha was roped in to match the aged hero’s looks and histrionics on the screen, Sivaji has Shriya (who must be younger than Rajnikanth’s eldest daughter) gyrating with a father-figure who has everything on him except the magical dancing shoes!

With every film promising to be his last, Rajnikanth shows no sign of either retiring or keeping up his promise. As long as there exist moronic fans, there will be no dearth of films from this sexagenarian who lives in the magical Neverland!

Brand Power Vs Star Power

Ogilvy does not believe in using celebrities to endorse products because people tend to remember the celebrities more often than they remember the advert. The only time he cast a celebrity, Mrs Roosevelt, was for a margarine product. Immediately both of them regretted this faux pas. Mrs Roosevelt called Ogilvy to share the response she had received, “One half is happy that I have lost my reputation; another half is sad that I have lost my reputation”.

Bollywood Stars to be replaced by Local Stars reads one of the headlines in yesterday’s The Economic Times. In a move to strike a cord with the people and to increase product sales, advertising agencies have decided to replace the lesser-known Bollyood faces with regional stars. So Trisha, Tamil actor, will soon replace Preity Zinta in Perk and Fanta ads aired in Tamil Nadu.

Two contradicting statements? So is it the power of persuasive advertising or the mere presence of a celebrity in an advert that determines/boosts sales of a product?

Today’s advertising mughals may not agree with Ogilvy. They believe that the sales force of a product depends on the star power of the celebrity. Bigger the star value, larger the product sales seems to be their new-age mantra. So just about anyone who has achieved success overnight is roped in to endorse product(s).

· Why rope in actors/cricketers to endorse product(s)?

In all other nations celebrities are treated as mere mortals, but in India if you are either an actor or a cricketer, you are next to God. The strategy of wooing a multitude into buying a product using these demi-gods is not only ingenious but also brilliant.

Actors and cricketers are paid obscene amounts of money and offered long-term contracts to endorse a product.

But do the advertising agencies realize that just as every product has a shelf-life, so do the celebrities. Even Big B emerged from a period of oblivion before he regained his lost stardom.

· Does the credibility of a product depend on the success of the star?

When our Men in Blue returned home after a shameful defeat in the World Cup, most of the adverts (that pumped millions into their making) were pulled off the air. One of the ads that had me laughing was the Bharath Petroleum (?) that had Irfan Pathan asking the guy in the bunk if he wants a six or a single? Poor guy did not even make it to the 11.

· Do these celebrities have an obligation towards the product and the public?

As an endorser, he/she needs to be convinced of the product. Ogilvy believed that a copywriter cannot do a great job of writing copy to the product if he/she himself is not convinced. Better the product instead of bettering the marketing strategy. As public figures, celebrities also have an obligation towards the public--to use their stardom to fight (and promote) for the right causes. Should they choose to promote a pesticola for a million-dollar contract or campaign against poverty without accepting a fee? Tamil star, Ajith, turned down repeated offers to promote fizz drinks because he did not want to endorse unhealthy drinks to his fans.

What happens when SRK who endorses Pepsi is caught sipping Coke in public? What if Big B who endorses Cadbury only feeds Hershey to his grandchildren because they are worm-free?

My two cents: A good product does not need a famous spokesperson. When we have a headache, do we pop in a Crocin because we know it’s safe and it works rather than a lesser-known drug endorsed by a big celebrity?

Ogilvy on Advertising

In 1949, a young man arrived at Madison Avenue from UK with big dreams and aspirations. Through diligence and hard work, he became the messiah of advertising and turned Madison Avenue into the Mecca of advertising. This young man was David Ogilvy, whose name became synonymous with advertising, and who was rightly dubbed as the The Father of Advertising, and who replaced Crowther from Mather and Crowther to head Ogilvy and Mather, one of the biggest advertising agencies inth world.

The book Ogilvy on Advertising follows his bestseller, Confessions of an Advertising Man, which has become the bible for all those wanting to get into the glamorous world of advertising. But the cocky and braggart Ogilvy doesn’t deceive you into believing that advertising is good dosh and glamour; instead, this pundit talks about the long hours spent on research to write copy for an advertisement along with other principles (call it trade secrets if you may) that paved his success in the world of advertising.

A former chef and salesman, he redefined print advertising and promoted direct-mail order. A man of principles, he believed in living in the products before penning for it. A staunch believer that the success of an advert depends on the sales of a product.

Some of his most famous adverts include Rolls Royce (the famous line, At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock), Dove (Only Dove is one-quarter cleansing cream), Shell (it was an unknown brand until Ogilvy promoted this brand with astounding findings), Sears (again unknown and less sought-after until he penned the famous ads), Hathaway Shirts (introducing the famous one-eyed man), Schweppes (introducing Commander Whitehead) among others. Some of them have enjoyed a span of over three decades.

This 200-plus pages bestseller (published in 1985) is illustrated with innumerable adverts from across the world. He talks about writing copies for adverts in various genre. One chapter is dedicated to the other big gurus of advertising followed by the last chapter I Predict 13 Changes. Sadly at least nine of them are already archaic.

It is sad to note that the man who gave print advertising a new lease on life will go into oblivion as print is slowly dying with marketing foraying into televisions, radios, Net and other media. He was an old-fashioned man who believed that it was wrong to use celebrities to endorse a product as people tend to remember the celebrities more often than the ad following the debacle of a margarine product that he got Mrs Roosevelt to endorse. A man whose ideas grew extinct as he did not keep up with the pace of the ever-changing and ever-evolving world of media and technologies! But despite all this, Ogilvy will always be remembered for his contributions and his special (and key) role in advertising and marketing.

The No Asshole Rule

Before you rush to any rash conclusions about me (not that you haven't), let me first state that I did not coin this expression (nope not this time though I am wondering why I didn’t). The No Asshole Rule is the title of Robert Sutton’s latest book that promises to Build a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t.

The book is all about the Aholes who rule your workplace (and trust me you meet a lot of them). He starts the chapter with an Introduction as to how and why he settled on that name. It’s interesting to know that his first choice of publisher, The Harvard Business School Press, were happy to publish the book if he would change the title to something less offensive. So he changed… publishers :-) Wise guy, oops I meant wise man!

Bob armed with a PhD (don’t ask me in what, but I know it isn’t Ahole Management) has met any Aholes in his sphere of teaching and felt compelled to write a book on how to tackle Aholes at workplace after hearing the woes of many who wrote to him seeking counsel or just shared their experiences at work place.

In the first chapter, he defines Ahole and even categorizes them into Temporary Asshole and Certified Asshole. There are also other variations of these two types. Other chapters deal with case studies, surveys, strategies, and even tests (yeah take it up and find out what type of Ahole you are).

My fave chapter is the one in which he says how a company can actually calculate Total Cost of Assholes (TCA) (Trust me, one company did do that and cut that amount from the employee’s annual bonus that was due to him. God save the company if there is more than one).

One chapter is devoted on how to avoid and tackle such people but sadly there’s not much that keeps you hooked.

And did you know that MIT has invented a Jerko-meter to measure a person’s stupidity????

Some jargon you can pick up from this book include jerk-audits, asshole management, uber-jerk, smart talk trap.

It’s OK to be under one but not OK to be one and Vinci’s principle that It’s easier to resist at the beginning than at the end (what to resist??? The burning desire to be an Ahole????) is the mantra that the book tries to convey. There’s nothing new in this book (expect for the title) that you don’t already know or haven’t read before. The book is not half as hilarious and half as knowledgeable as it's title. Just worth a browse at Crossword!

Indian Judicial System—A Big Joke

As an Indian and an avid movie-watcher, the dialogue kaanoon ki haath bahut lambhe hote hai still rings in my ears. With her eyes blindfolded, Lady Justice (I really dunno what that dame is called) serves as the epitome of righteousness by serving piping hot justice—sending the guilty to the slammer and acquitting the innocent.

But today the scenario has reversed. Justice is served with the audiences’ eyes blindfolded and this is why:

• Charles Sobhraj not only got away with serial killing but also managed to publish his autobiography while in prison (Tihar jail magnanimously provided him with a laptop and other luxuries).
• Funny man Sidhdhu created a ripple with the reopening of a murder case that was committed 10-years back. Everyone was singing hallelujah that justice was still not dead here, but they were soon disappointed when he was let off the hook for his honesty.
• Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt are never tired with their regular trysts with the law, but yet remain on the other side of the prison.
• Moninder Singh Pandher, the main accused in the Noida serial killing, is being given a clean chit as there was no evidence found against him.
• Manu Sharma accused in the famous Jessica Lal murder case almost got away till people were finally emboldened by Rakeysh Mehra’s Rang De Basanti and proceeded with lit candles towards India Gate screaming for justice. Manu Sharma was sent back in but he’ll be out soon.
• Other victims of injustice include celebrities and socialites, who for no reason, keep leaping off the tops of 5-star hotels and clubs.

Justice delayed is indeed justice denied!

Metro--The Movie

A couple wed for 9-years and the hubby is cheating with his sis-in-law’s roomie on their wedding anniversary! The wifey torn between loyalty and love!

A 30-year old virgin who is still looking for Mr Right in a big, bad city!

A call-center girl who doubles as a call girl sleeping with her boss looking for love in the wrong place!

Another call-center guy who panders to fulfill his dad’s broken dreams of building a restaurant.

An old, widowed woman moving out of old-age home to move in with her long lost love.

Sounds familiar? Of course baby, you should be when you are living in a metro or even a cosmo! These are the characters from the huge hit of this season—Metro!

All the characters are intertwined (reminded me of the Hollywood flick—Crash), and there are no regular songs-and-dance that provide welcome relief to those yearning for a quick smoke or a leak. But of course there’s good music from Pritam and his band, who keep bursting into a song, amid serious dialogues, with their guitars and haggard looks (reminded me of the Hollywood flick—There’s something about Mary).

Metro is parallel cinema with Hollywood treatment (oh yeah! there are a few bold scenes). It’s a serious movie save for the much-anticipated appearance of Irrfan Khan, who undoubtedly steals the thunder, and leaves us in splits by acting the 38-year old but yet-to-settle-down guys who looks at the wrong places of the right gal ;-)

The ugly side to the movie: The dialogues are limp and fall flat. Costumes worn by the heroines were outdated and outrageous. The unwanted guest appearance of Pritam and his band every half hour.

But all this is gracefully saved by a wonderful couching cast with their laudable performances, an original (sad but true) story of a city life, and haunting music.

Does love deserve a second chance? Was the dialogue about yeh shehar hume jitna deta hai, who humse utna hi badle mein le leta hai true? It's worth finding out in Metro!

When in doubt, call in sick

One fine day, you wake up to find that it’s a beautiful day: the kind not to be spent inside the confines of an air-conditioned cubbyhole called The Office, but a day to be spent gossiping with a pal, catching a movie while munching pop corn, or browsing through books in Crossword or better still trying to finish a book there over a chilled cappuccino, or just window-shopping in one of the malls in the city.

On such days, all I do is pick up the phone and call my boss to say that I am feeling sick and won’t be coming in (Tip: If you want to plead sore throat or sound feverish, call your boss as soon as you wake up with that husky voice. For special effects, you may try coughing or clearing your throat). If you are saving up all your sick leaves for when you do fall sick, trust me, at this rate you’ll need all of them and more! So get a life, call in sick, and chill maadi!

Only remember that a liar should have a good memory. So on the next day when your colleague asks how you are doing, tell them that you have been better (of course you are not lying).

Trust me, you feel so rejuvenated and feel the same adrenaline rush like when you bunked those most-important classes. Ah! The joy of playing truant in your adult life has the same thrill value!

Cupid's Chokehold

What better way of handling the mid-week crisis in office than by listening to my current fave song (among top ten on US music charts)-- Cupid's Chokehold.

The band's name is Gym Class Heroes. Just read the lyrics and you will know why it could be any gal's fave song. The words are honest and heartfelt bordering on mush, which I duly edited in this posting.

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

It's been some time since we last spoke
This is gonna sound like a bad joke
But momma I fell in love again
It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend

And I know it sounds so old
But cupid got me in a chokehold
And I'm afraid I might give in
Towels on the mat my white flag is wavin'

I mean she even cooks me pancakes
And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is

We even got a secret handshake
And she loves the music that my band makes
I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun
I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

Premchand--Unsung, Unread Hero

Remember my quest for Indian writing in English? I think it just bore fruition when I picked up a copy of Short Stories by Premchand. Who would have thought that this chap (god bless his soul) with a Hitler-moustache and a docile look writing under the pseudonym Premchand (real name: Dhanpat Rai Srivastava) wielded so much power in his pen?

He wrote not to be called a laureate and to be bestowed a Nobel Prize, nor he wrote to impress the kings with his pseudo paeans, but he wrote to express. He wrote to tell the woes of peasants, of women, and of the poor meted out to them by a society filled with the so-called high-caste Brahmins and money lenders.

Each of his story showcases the tumultuous times in the pre-Independence era. It reflects his own struggle as a teacher trying to make ends meet. His stories show the huge heart of a small man with a very small income, who was moved by the injustice in the society and decided to speak of it through his only weapon-- pen.

A reformist who believed in equal rights for women, some of his stories were considered bold and outrageous. Satyajit Ray went on to adapt some of his work for screenplay.

A simple man who lived and died in abject penury, he was a great writer who lived in the wrong times and died as an unsung hero!

Put East before West

In my previous blogs, I have unabashedly taken potshots at some of the Indian authors (rightly so, I might add), so in the same vein I would like to use this space to glorify some of our greatest and forgotten gems.

Being in India, the land of rich cultural diaspora, it took me this long to discover a few of those rare gems who have been forgotten and buried among the other “geniuses” of today. I am ashamed that I had to discover Tolstoy before Tagore; Khalil Gibran before Kabir; Pushkin before Premchand; Abe Lincoln before Abdul Kalaam; Machiavelli before Chanakya; Sam Walton before Kishore Biyani; Iacocca before Tata; Margaret Thatcher before Indira Gandhi . . .

My Fave Biographies-cum-Business books

If you thought that books in the genre of Business and Management or biographies of business magnates are dull and boring, then you will change your mind after reading these books.

Among the few I have read I list these as my all-time favorites (not in any order). Postinmg them with gists posted on the Ner:

· Made in America: My Story

It's a story about entrepreneurship, and risk, and hard work, and knowing where you want to go and being willing to do what it takes to get there. And it's a story about believing in your idea even when maybe some other folks don't, and about sticking to your guns. Meet a genuine American folk hero cut from the homespun cloth of America's heartland - Sam Walton, who turned a single dime store in a hardscrabble cotton town into Wal-Mart, the largest retailer in the world. The undisputed merchant king of the late twentieth century, Sam never lost the common touch.

· NUTS! Southwest Airlines' Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success

Twenty five years ago, Herb Kelleher reinvented air travel when he founded Southwest Airlines, where the planes are painted like killer whales, a typical company maxim is Hire people with a sense of humor, and in flight meals are never served - just sixty million bags of peanuts a year. By sidestepping reengineering, total quality management, and other management philosophies and employing its own brand of business success, Kelleher's airline has turned a profit for twenty four consecutive years and seen its stock soar 300 percent since 1990.

· Losing My Virginity

It's not that Branson is known as a cross dresser, although he sometime does parade down the aisles of Virgin Atlantic wearing a short air-hostess skirt. It's that Branson is expected to do the unexpected, even the bizarre anything to publicize his latest venture...The fact is, Branson's widely reported stunts seem almost staid compared to the conventional way he manages his burgeoning empire.

· Beyond The Last Blue Mountain: A Life of J.R.D.Tata

Written with J.R.D. Tata's co-operation, this superb biography tells the J.R.D. story, from his birth to 1993, the year in which he died in Switzerland. The book is divided into four parts, Part I deals with the early years, from J.R.D's birth in France in 1904 to his accession to the Chairmanship of Tatas, India's largest industrial conglomerate, at the age of thirty four, Part II looks at his forty six years in Indian aviation.

· The Google Story

THE GOOGLE STORY is the definitive account of the populist media company powered by the world’s most advanced technology that in a few short years has revolutionized access to information about everything for everybody everywhere. In 1998, Moscow-born Sergey Brin and Midwest-born Larry Page dropped out of graduate school at Stanford University to, in their own words, ‘change the world’ through a search engine that would organize every bit of information on the Web for free.

· Lee Iacocca's Talking Straight and Iacocca : An Autobiography

He’s an American legend, a straight-shooting businessman who brought Chrysler back from the brink and in the process became a media celebrity, newsmaker and a man many have urged to run for President. The son of Italian immigrants, Lee Iacocca rose spectacularly through the ranks of Ford Motor Company to become its President, only to be toppled eight years later in a power play that should have shattered him. But Lee Iacocca did not get mad, he got even. He led a battle for Chryslers survival that made his name a symbol of integrity, know-how and guts for millions of Americans.

This year’s reading wish list includes:
· The Road Ahead
· Dirty Tricks : British Airway's Secret war against Virgin Atlantic
· It Happened In India: The Story of Pantaloons, Big Bazaar Central and the great Indian Consumer
· The Warren Buffett Way : Investment Strategies of the world's Greatest Investor
· Rags to Riches : Life & Time of Dhirajlal Hirachand Ambani
· Ogilvy on Advertising
· The Second Coming of Steve Jobs
· Confessions Of An Economic Hitman
· The Ranbaxy Story : The Rise of an Indian Multinational

Wikipedia--A Treasure Trove

Google has replaced Wikipedia, at least for me. Not a day goes by when I don’t look up wiki for some info or the other. Anything and everything I need to know is available on the greatest site on Earth—Wikipedia--the online encyclopedia. I cannot help but sing paeans for its resourcefulness.

Whenever I read a book and want to learn more about the author, I wiki the info than google it out. Now as a result, I have decided not to buy any more biographies but wiki all the info about great personalities.

Sample this: The other day I wanted to try Shepherd’s Pie at the Jukebox, so I key that in on Wikipedia half expecting any result but bingo! there it is spelling out all the ingredients that go into making this dish. (Don’t be shy to ask me the recipe ;-))

What’s more! I also know cos of wiki that I belong to a community called Pastafarians.

Soon wiki will be a verb when your boss asks you for some info, and you say “Sure thing I’ll wiki it out”. But let me remind you that I was the genius who first verbicized it :-)

Burns--First Black CEO

Ursula Burns is the first black (woman) CEO screams a headline in the inside pages of The Economic Times.

Is this news to rejoice or to be ashamed of? In an era where the world is shrinking to a global village, where scientists may not have found the cure for AIDS but can certainly produce artificial rains, where experiments have proven that you do not need a man for procreation—we are still fighting the biggest war—the color of the skin!

Really shameful and pathetic, isn’t it? Recent surveys show that the color of the skin plays a major role in procuring a job. The surveys published results that fairer people tended to reach the corporate ladder faster than their relatively melanin-enriched counterparts.

Apartheid may be abolished only on paper but bias towards color continues.

I dream a world that does not need a lady to use Fair and Lovely cream to get the job of her dreams! I dream a world where men are not suckers for women with lighter skin shades and lighter hair color even if they themselves look worse than a King Kong!

Russell Peters -- Desi Delight

When you hear the name Russell Peters and his accent, you are thinking American guy, 30-something, stand-up comedian. But lo and behold! He’s still 30-something, stand-up comedian, but a Canadian of Indian origin. Unlike other Indians who anglicize their names on reaching foreign soils (Randhir becomes Randy, ewwwwwww), Peters guy is actually a Calcutta Christian whose parents christened that name on his birth!

And this guy is actually happy about being desi and what’s more! he’s turned that into his bread and butter by cracking jokes on desis and all Asians. When the topic is Asians and you are born and bred in Canada that boasts of a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic society, you need little creativity to come up with jokes that has the audience laughing their butts off.

Off the stage, people may call him a racist, but on stage he is a rocking superstar competing with the likes of Seinfeld in the Las Vegas stand-up comic contests.

Legend has it that he was an obscure stand-up comedian for many years until one day, Lady Luck smiled on him when someone from the audience recorded his act and uploaded it on the Net. The rest, they say, is history.

Do check out his videos where he makes digs about Sri Lankans and the English.

Q & A – Trappings of a Potboiler

Continuing my quest for Indian writing in English, I picked up Q & A by Vikas Swarup. Vikas is an Indian diplomat; this is his debut novel.

Q & A is about an orphan, Ram Mohammad Thomas, and his escapades in big bad cities of Delhi, Mumbai, and Agra as he fights for survival! Ram takes you through the labyrinth of squalor in Dharavi slums to the orphanages and mafia in Mumbai, to the red-light areas in Agra while encountering (and tricking) fate in every corner.

Q & A is about Ram’s rags-to-riches story with his reversal of destiny when he participates in the quiz show, Who wants to be a Billionaire? The 13 questions, which are put to the 18-year old waiter with no schooling, and whose answers lay in his deepest darkest past forms the crux of the story.

It has all the trappings of a Bollywood movie (and no wonder that it is being made into a movie) because it has love, betrayal, deceit, and glamour.

An ideal read when you are traveling in a train and are bored out of your wits!

Rain Dance

Every time I wear a white dress, I know it will rain! I dunno what it is about white that appeases the rain gods. I get up in the morning, see that it’s gonna be a bright sultry morning and Sindhu is voicing my opinion loud on Radio Indigo that there’s no rain expected today. So I rummage through my closet and get my white dress out.

The day gets progressively hot, but just as I swipe my card at the exit of the building I feel a few drops on me. I dismiss them as dew (but hello! Where are the trees?) and before I pull down the visor of my helmet, there’s a heavy shower and I am soaked to the bone. The raindrops fall like heavy stones and I try to slow down or pull over, but on a ring road you cannot even dream of pulling over except of course you want to get off the bike/car and take a leak.

But now that I am drenched, I might as well continue riding trying to ignore the leery glances of my Indian brothers (who for some inexplicable reason get turned on by white dress, and the wetter it is the better!). No wonder that Yash Chopra discovered this formula and repeatedly used it in his movies. All his heroines never failed to excite the audience in at least one rain dance clad in flimsy, plain-colored, chiffon saris. Never mind if the heroine came down with pneumonia the next day because of those innumerable takes in the rain, but Yash delivered what his audience came looking for!

Small wonder, that even after two decades, the ultimate fantasy rain dance remains the one from Mr India where a plump Shridevi is acting coy and enticing an invisible lover.