Happy to Help

Last evening, I had to visit the Vodafone showroom as I had some questions regarding my bill. The SMS charges were one rupee for all the messages sent out on Dec 31st and Jan 1st when they were supposed to have been for free. I had been warned by my sister not to send too many greetings on that day as many service providers had special rates for such occasions anticipating the traffic. Nevertheless, I was in a mood to pick a bone with the representative.

After waiting there for 10 minutes, I finally got to meet the rep. She asked me in her sweet tone how she can assist me. I presented her the hard copy of my bill and innocently asked her why I had been charged one rupee for the meesages sent out on those two days. She takes one look at my bll and says “Madam, those were special days.”

“So you charge more on special days?”

“Yes ma’m.”

“My plan tariff does not say anywhere even under a footnote that on special days I will be charged more. Nor did I get any intimation via an SMS alert about this.”

“Ma’m, all service providers do this.”

“So this is just some sort of cheap tactic you resort to make more money off users?”

“No ma’m, it’s not cheap.”

I had to almost suppress a grin when she said that because I knew she was not to blame for any of tjis but yet she had to put up with the likes of me as part of her job continuing to answer my questions, however stupid they were, in the same even tone.

“OK, then tell me how are the users to know which days you consider special? Or are they supposed to be your little secret?”

“Ma’m all holidays have special rates.”

“So if I wish a friend on Buddha Poornima, will it be a special rate?”

I don’t why of all festivals, I chose this one as I hardly even know a Buddhist.

“Ma’m, I can tell you the special days if you want to know.”

“Please do.”

“Dec 31st, Jan 1st, Valentine’s Day, Ugadi.”

And she stopped at that. I was surprised at the very short list when I knew they could add every little holiday and festival and make money off the users. Either she forgot the rest of the holidays or that was that.

“What about Christmas?”

“Yes ma’m, that’s also a special day.”

“Then what about Ramzan and Bakrid?”

“No ma’m, we do not have a special rate for that.”

I was about to say “but that’s discrimination, don’t you think?” I was simply enjoying this whole charade despite my increasing hunger but I thought the girl had had enough for a day and especially when there was only half hour more for her to call it a day. So I thanked her and left.

Even earlier, I had received a few erroneous bills but I was simply too lazy to spend my evening waiting for my turn to meet the rep and haggle over a few rupees. Despite their “Happy to Help” tag line, I have never received timely help or when I did, I was not too pleased with their service.

Their brand ambassador may well be a pug, which by the way owes its astronomical sum in the dog market to erstwhile Hutch, to signify loyalty. But their services show otherwise. If I were in an ad agency, the tag line I would have provided their competitor would have been “Unlike others, our services have not gone to the dogs.”